Step parents have been a part of my life since I was 9 years old. The relationship with my step-mom has been hit or miss throughout the years. Never did I think I would be a step-mom, but that all changed when I married my husband in 2016. I wish I had nothing but positives to share about being a step-mom, but sadly that's not the case.
However, today isn't a reflection about me being a step-mom or my own step-mom. Today is a reflection about my three children's Bonus Mom. She has been an active part of their lives for the past 6 years. When she was dating my ex-husband and I knew it was getting serious, I sent her an email welcoming her to the kid's lives and giving her permission to be an active decision maker and participant in their lives. Did she need my permission to be in their lives? Nope. My intention was to make it clear that it takes a village to raise kids and I was happy that she was a part of my children's village. I have always taught my children that she is just as much an adult in their life as compared to their dad or myself, and that they need to follow her rules they same they would follow ours. While this was difficult for me at first, it has made for such a peaceful divorce transition for my kids.
My daughter has been dealing with some things lately, and her Bonus Mom sent me a text over the weekend about it. She wasn't asking for advice, but wanted to make sure how they were handling things at their house was consistent with how we handle things at our house. I shared some resources that I am using and she was thankful. I am beyond grateful for the relationship my kids and I have with her because I couldn't imagine co-parenting with just my ex-husband. She has made co-parenting easier, and I wish more people could experience this type of co-parenting.
